TechSchools

Technology these days(has) made our lives much easier. We have an air conditioner, so we can control the temperature in the room; we use cell phones to connect much faster and easier(gr. - more easily) with our friends. So (will)the technology, will(unnecessary) replace every single thing in our lives? In this essay I will relate to (a)more specific question:  Could computers replace teachers one day?

I say obviously no, for a few reasons. First, the human touch is something we all need, and still uses(phr.) although there is(gr.) chat(s) and computers to connect. We still go out with our friends, or hang out together. So, the human touch is something that can't be replaced by a computer, and students need the encourages(ww. - encouragements) and the personal treatment that only (a) human can give(ww. - provide).

In addition, these days we can see that the Bagrut exams test only grades(phr. - what do you mean?), and they don’t really test knowledge, therefore, exchanging teachers by(ww. - with) computers, will make this phenomenon rise(phr.). Not only that we would be tested by grades, we would be thought by computers(not clear what you are saying here).

For(ww. - In) conclusion, I want to state, that exchanging teachers with computers would cause more harm than good. This action would save some money, but students will graduate high school with no real life knowledge.

(78)
Daphna

Killer On The Road

In our everyday lives, we watch our parents drive almost every day. They drive us to school, they drive us to work, and they drive us to the cinema or even to our friends place. Every time we get into the car with our father, he tries to teach us something new about handling a car. And at the age of 17 we take our first driving license lessons.

These days, we are exposed to a lot of accidents, most of them, involve young drivers in them. Therefore, I think that the age of getting a driver license should be raised to 19 for a few reasons. First, there is something ironic in giving a teenager a weapon at the age of 18, and giving him a driving license at the age of 17, because eventually, more people get killed in car accidents than being killed by a gun(How is this argument relevant to what you have stated earlier, in the second sentence of this paragraph?).

Moreover, the army has a large part in designing our personality. If you compare someone that has just being(gr. - been) recruited to the army, and someone who has already finished his army service, these are two completely different people.(Start a new sentence) that(ww.) because the army teaches us discipline and make(gr.) us mature and responsible. That(ww.), thanks to holding a gun in our hands, and getting punishment whether(ww.) we do something wrong- I don't see your point..

I think that the only way to reduce the accidents among young drivers is by increasing the enforcement. The only way, we can make young drivers understand that they are playing with fire, is to punish them whether(ww. - if/when) they act immature(ly). In addition, I think that the qualifications (required) for getting a driving license should be increased, so immature teenagers wouldn't have the chance to make a mistake on the road.

I still have a bit of a problem with your arguments, their relevance and the way you phrased them.
(82)
Daphna  

Killer On The Road

In our everyday lives, we watch our parents drive almost every day. They drive us to school, they drive us to work, and they drive us to the cinema or even to our friends place. Every time we get into the car with our father, he tries to teach us something new about handling a car. And at the age of 17 we take our first driving license lessons.

These days, we are exposed to a lot of accidents, most of them, involve young drivers. Therefore, I think that the age of getting a drivers license should be raised to 19 for a few reasons. First, there is something ironic in giving a teenager a weapon at the age of 18, and giving him a driving license at the age of 17, because eventually, more people get killed in car accidents than being murdered in other way.

Moreover, the army has a large part in designing our personality. If you compare someone that has just been recruited to the army, and someone who has already finished his army service, these are two completely different people. Thats is because the army teaches us discipline and makes us mature and responsible. That, thanks to holding a gun in our hands and experiencing it, and getting punishment everytime we do something wrong.

I think that the only way to reduce the accidents among young drivers is by increasing the enforcement. The only way, we can make young drivers understand that they are playing with fire, is to punish them every time they act immaturely. In addition, I think that the qualifications for getting a driving license should be increased, so immature teenagers wouldn't have the chance to make a mistake on the road.

(80)
Daphna