This is an E-mail for You

Hello Dear Simi!

We haven’t met since elementary school. I miss you a lot; I really wish you were here so I could have a few minutes to talk to you. I got your e-mail address from our teacher: Edna Maksimik while visiting her at her house. So, I decided to write to you. Since elementary school a lot of things have happened to me, but I want to tell you about one time, when I was late to school and got on the wrong bus.

One day, I woke up and looked at the clock. It was 8 o’clock, when I needed to be at the bus station at 7:30. I panicked, I think you understand why. I brushed my teeth, ate some cereal and got out to the bus station with my school bag. I got to the bus station at 8:30. I was very tired and almost fell asleep.After 15 minutes my bus came and I took it. I felt tired and took a little nap on the bus. After a few minutes, I woke up to the screaming of the bus driver. He told me that it was his last station and I needed to go out. When I got out of the bus I noticed that I was in Tel-Aviv. I panicked, again. I looked at the bus and I discovered that I got on the wrong one. That day I didn’t go to school, I went home to relax a little.

I hope it it will neverhappen to me again or to anyone else. This is very scary but with it, exciting. However, it is not safe to sleep on the bus. I still miss you and hope you will answer my e-mail soon.

Hugs and kisses,
Andrew

Good work.

Daphna

Two Million votes VS 902 Days

It’s December 16th 2008, the final stage of the reality show “Big Brother” has just been over. Shifra is the winner, second is Yosi Bublil, third is Itai, fourth is Einav and last one is Leon. Its still December 16th 2008, people are watching the show right now. Shifra will leave with one million N.I.S and all other without anything except fame or shame

“Big Brother” is a reality show that washed the brains of millions or trillions of people all over the world. This show started in Holland and spread quickly all over the world. In Israel, there were about 2 or 3 million votes. It’s a huge number compared to the society in Israel. 2-3 million NIS were spent on SMS for this show.

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I am right now in the site of the show on mako.co.il. I am watching talkbacks. I want to quote some of them. One “Mizrahi" (person of Middle-Eastern extraction) man (Danny) said:”Even if she has won, we are the eastern people and we are more than the others”, other “proud Bublil” said:”It was obvious that the finale will be predetermined, they left Bublil all the season for the rating and at the finale that gave to this dead “Fridman” (Fridman=a nickname for a Jew of East European or Western origin like Shifra) to win. Even the results are unreasonable. However, there were good talkbacks too like:”Yes, Shifra you deserve this!” by “Ay” or “Shifra is better than the Big Brother himself” by “Shiffff”.

It’s still December 16th 2008, the exhibition of Gilad Shalit’s book has just been over. I wasn’t there, but I’m sure a lot of people were. However, I’m sure that more people would come if the final stage of the reality show wasn’t on the same day. It’s the 902nd day that Gilad is still in imprisonment and no one really cares. 902 days that we don’t really know what is happening to Gilad right now or what happened to him earlier. 

Gilad Shalit is an Israeli soldier that has been kidnapped by Arabians. He wrote a book when he was a teen, a little kid’s book. For the honor of his remembrance an artist illustrated his book and showed it in an exhibition in Beit Shtainberg in Holon. I have just received a phone call, and I’ve been told that the exhibition was escorted by a lot of people. But I’m still sure there could be more, much more.

I have to admit, I watched the show, not from the start but from the center and I liked it. I just got kind of addicted to it. I was watching the episodes on the Internet a few days after they were broadcasted. It was just interesting and hypnotizing. In addition, I wanted Shifra to win and I’m very happy she has won. She was the only real woman in the house and I just like silent people. That’s it..

"Shifra Konfild"

From all of those stories, what can we say about the Israeli society? It shows that our society is selfish, careless and even kind of egoistic. However, there are a few good-hearted people who were against the show from the moment it was created, but they weren’t enough to stop the plague of this reality! We have to take a stand against it, if everyone will make a little effort to stop it, it will succeed. 

Very interesting indeed. I know I wasn't supposed to look into this but it seemed very interesting and I couldn't resist correcting your work. I would like to correct your work, in order for people to read the important things you have written and get the right idea. (We wouldn't want people to think you write poorly, now do we...?)
Daphna.
p.s. I feel like the "big brother" myself, looking over your work like this, but it's for a good cause.....

"Time And Your Car"

The universal museum for vehicles presents:

”Time and your car”

For the great opening of the museum, we invite you to the first exhibitions about vehicles

Tomorrow on Birk street, London we will open our museum for visitors. Our manager, our CEO and all other staff will meet all the V.I.P guests from 9 to 11 P.M. Afterwards the museum will be open for all guests for free!

The museum will be divided into 2 parts: past and present. After the entrance hall there will be 2 doors. The first will lead to the past and the second to the present. The “past” part will be designed by Romero Athus, a French designer with a specialty in designing an old-fashion look. The “present” part will be designed by William Bryan, a Dutch designer with a specialty in designing a modern look.

"Past"

Often people think that Nicolas-Joseph Cugnot was the first inventor of the car. This "fact" made a lot of trouble for the Historicans.

We came to show you the truth about the story. The first exhibition will include the whole past of the cars: who invented them? What was the first car? Which car was invented first? The exhibition will include the first engine by Karl Benz and even answer the question about the production line of cars. We will reveal all the deepest secrets about the production of cars. The whole exhibition is followed by interactive items such as buttons which turn on a few things or the opportunity for kids to touch the exhibition items. As you know the design will be very professional and everyone has to see it!

"Karl Benz's "Velo" model (1894)"

"Present"

The second exhibition will answer more relevant questions such as: what is the most famous company for production of cars or how much money is spent for making one car. 

The exhibition will show you all kinds of cars like befouls, steam, air and even electric cars. This will be in the first part of the exhibition. The second part will be dedicated to the millions of people who died in car accidents .This part will show statistics such as deaths per billion journeys for every kind of car or deaths per billion hours for each kind of car. This part was designed by Andrew Borsuck, our CEO. The only thing he allowed us to publish is his response to the question:”What will be in the design?” He answered:”I can promise that a lot of effort and money was spent for this cause. We purchased about a million candles and a lot of black material and I just hope it will pinch some people's hearts and they will understand the importance of this situation”.

"part of the second exhibition"

These exhibitions are free from December 11, 2008 till December 15,2008.Afterwards it will cost 20$ for an adult(18-40) and 10$ for kids(0-18) and for old people it is free.

The whole staff of the museum hopes to see you!

Bibliography:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Car

Very good work! You should pay attention, though, to your grammar mistakes and rephrase some of your sentences. Please correct your work.
Daphna.

I Was Here

"Hug Cup"

On Saharov street in Rishon Le Zion there is an amazing place called Max Brener.It contains liters of black,white,milk chocolate.The place was established by a man called Max Brener, who came to the world with a dream to make a special coffee shop with a mountain of chocolate in it! This brand/shop has branches all over the world like in the Philipenes, Singapore and of course in our lovely Israel.

Max Brener's shops have different kinds of plates, cups , forks, spoons etc. The plates are much bigger than usual, anyone can take a normal plate and place it near another one and it will be the size of half plate there.There are a few kinds of cups in this place like the hug cup, the Alice cup etc. On the Alice cups it is written:"DRINK ME" which is cute.One of the dishes there is called:"Sharing" which contains "fondu"(fruits in hot chocolate), Belgian waffle and some soft hot bananas. I really recomand this dish for couples. However, you can go to Max Brener with your family and friends too. For example, I was there with my friends and we had a great time eating or chatting

I recommend this place for the whole family or for couples. The romantic atmosphere is amazing: relaxing music, beautiful design and lovely chairs.There is a lot of chocolate. However, Max Brener offers salads and other kinds of food as well.The prices are pretty low, from 50-100 NIS. However, you dont want to eat after the first dish.

Andrey, this is much better. You still have a few mistakes that I would like you to correct.

My Best Mates

I have a lot of good friends or relatives.It was really hard to choose the most special person,the closest person to me,but finally I have chosen two friends whom I want to write about. The first one is Mike and the second is Sahar.They are both amazing friends with their personal qualities which I admire.Mike always says the right thing in the right time and can calm me down even if I am really mad and Sahar is just the funniest person I know.I just love going out with her on Fridays.

About Sahar.She has a beautiful hair which I like and shining brown eyes.She is quite fat and not so tall but we are working on it together.She is the best company if I am bored,she is always there to go out and just chat or have a small talk about anything.It is the common thing for Sahar and Mike.

Now about Mike.He is the most wonderful person because he always says the right thing and he is always there to entertain me on MSN messenger.He is tall but not like me,he has black hair and a weird combination of green and blue eyes.He is the only person that I can laugh with about everything even about us,the way we look etc...
With those perfect personalities I feel like the king of the world and they feel like it too because all the confidence that we give to each other.

I wrote about two people that are close to me but there are a few more like Dorin,Reut and many more.Those two friends will always be my best friends because their amazing qualities and amazing personalities.There is nothing to add here but the last sentence:I love them.

Very good. I enjoyed it!

Daphna.

Something About Myself

My name is Andrey I learn in high school, Im 15 years old and live in Israel, this little country near Levanon. I'm tall incomparesent to my friends or class mates, I have brown eyes and I weigh about 55 kilograms,I was born on the 28th of June.I have long smooth brown hair.I have glasses but it only shows how smart I am.

As a normal teenager I have some spare time,even if it is after the youth movement that I go to every week.I am a counselor of 4th grade. I also play D&D(Dungeons & Dragons) on my spare time.For now I work at telemarketing and Im good at this work.On holidays I like to sleep because I have no time to sleep at school time and I really think that holidays were made for family,so mostly I spend it with my lovely family because I see them rarely at night when I come home.

At school I like being with my friends or just read as a normal teenager. At school I like biology and Chemistry but I learn physics too because I have to,its quite sad,I really hate the teacher but I got used to it.
Last but not least what I want for the new year. Hard question. I guess I would like to get good grades and finish school with high grades because I know I can make it even with my busy schedule.

I like it. It's clear, to the point and quite interesting. But, please pay attention to your spelling and grammar mistakes all through your essay and capitalization!

Daphna.