TechSchools

Technology these days(has) made our lives much easier. We have an air conditioner, so we can control the temperature in the room; we use cell phones to connect much faster and easier(gr. - more easily) with our friends. So (will)the technology, will(unnecessary) replace every single thing in our lives? In this essay I will relate to (a)more specific question:  Could computers replace teachers one day?

I say obviously no, for a few reasons. First, the human touch is something we all need, and still uses(phr.) although there is(gr.) chat(s) and computers to connect. We still go out with our friends, or hang out together. So, the human touch is something that can't be replaced by a computer, and students need the encourages(ww. - encouragements) and the personal treatment that only (a) human can give(ww. - provide).

In addition, these days we can see that the Bagrut exams test only grades(phr. - what do you mean?), and they don’t really test knowledge, therefore, exchanging teachers by(ww. - with) computers, will make this phenomenon rise(phr.). Not only that we would be tested by grades, we would be thought by computers(not clear what you are saying here).

For(ww. - In) conclusion, I want to state, that exchanging teachers with computers would cause more harm than good. This action would save some money, but students will graduate high school with no real life knowledge.

(78)
Daphna

Killer On The Road

In our everyday lives, we watch our parents drive almost every day. They drive us to school, they drive us to work, and they drive us to the cinema or even to our friends place. Every time we get into the car with our father, he tries to teach us something new about handling a car. And at the age of 17 we take our first driving license lessons.

These days, we are exposed to a lot of accidents, most of them, involve young drivers in them. Therefore, I think that the age of getting a driver license should be raised to 19 for a few reasons. First, there is something ironic in giving a teenager a weapon at the age of 18, and giving him a driving license at the age of 17, because eventually, more people get killed in car accidents than being killed by a gun(How is this argument relevant to what you have stated earlier, in the second sentence of this paragraph?).

Moreover, the army has a large part in designing our personality. If you compare someone that has just being(gr. - been) recruited to the army, and someone who has already finished his army service, these are two completely different people.(Start a new sentence) that(ww.) because the army teaches us discipline and make(gr.) us mature and responsible. That(ww.), thanks to holding a gun in our hands, and getting punishment whether(ww.) we do something wrong- I don't see your point..

I think that the only way to reduce the accidents among young drivers is by increasing the enforcement. The only way, we can make young drivers understand that they are playing with fire, is to punish them whether(ww. - if/when) they act immature(ly). In addition, I think that the qualifications (required) for getting a driving license should be increased, so immature teenagers wouldn't have the chance to make a mistake on the road.

I still have a bit of a problem with your arguments, their relevance and the way you phrased them.
(82)
Daphna  

Killer On The Road

In our everyday lives, we watch our parents drive almost every day. They drive us to school, they drive us to work, and they drive us to the cinema or even to our friends place. Every time we get into the car with our father, he tries to teach us something new about handling a car. And at the age of 17 we take our first driving license lessons.

These days, we are exposed to a lot of accidents, most of them, involve young drivers. Therefore, I think that the age of getting a drivers license should be raised to 19 for a few reasons. First, there is something ironic in giving a teenager a weapon at the age of 18, and giving him a driving license at the age of 17, because eventually, more people get killed in car accidents than being murdered in other way.

Moreover, the army has a large part in designing our personality. If you compare someone that has just been recruited to the army, and someone who has already finished his army service, these are two completely different people. Thats is because the army teaches us discipline and makes us mature and responsible. That, thanks to holding a gun in our hands and experiencing it, and getting punishment everytime we do something wrong.

I think that the only way to reduce the accidents among young drivers is by increasing the enforcement. The only way, we can make young drivers understand that they are playing with fire, is to punish them every time they act immaturely. In addition, I think that the qualifications for getting a driving license should be increased, so immature teenagers wouldn't have the chance to make a mistake on the road.

(80)
Daphna

Internet?

The internet was invented in the late 90's. The invention of the internet has changed our lives in several ways. Now we can share knowledge with peers all over the world. Sharing knowledge was made(ww.+gr.) much easier and faster.Now we can publish an article or a blog post, and in seconds all our friends can read it and comment on it. This phenomenon made(gr. - use the present perfect) our lives much easier and made a difference in our ways of communication.

In the past, If you wanted to talk with your peers on the other side of the globe, you needed to write a letter and send it by mail. It was a long process, and wasn’t so convenient, because sending an urgent letter wasn’t possible. Now, with the invention of the internet, sending an e-mail is just a matter of few seconds.

Despite all of the advantages, there are (a) few disadvantages. The main ones are pornography and lack of physical activity. With the fast flow of information , we can observe that pornography become much easier to access. Despite all of the parent control programs, pornography is still available 24 hours a day, to all the little kids on the planet. Another disadvantage is the lack of physical activity,because you sit infront of the computer the whole day and do not move much, which is very important (in order) to develop social skills in kids. The lack of it, causes the children, get into depressions(phr.), and have no real friends.

In conclusion, dispite  the disadvantages, that we try to minimize, the advantages overflow them. These days, we can save lives thanks to the great invention of the internet, by sending urgent messeges, such as sos. And(מיותר) saving lives is the most sacred thing in the world and nothing can compare with that.
How is the issue of saving lives relevant to what you have written in your essay? The conclusion is supposed to relate to whatever you have presented in your essay, summarize it and conlude.

(88)
Daphna

Written Presentation N.8

These days, we all graduate from high school with an exam called Matriculation. Each student's knowledge must be reflected by those exams in the best way. The bagrut exam consists of a few exams in each subject, for example Bible, Hebrew etc. Moreover, some of those exams are not obligatory like Physics, Chemistry, or even Biology.

I think that those exams don’t reflect each students knowledge, because the exams consists of a lot of material and not all the students have the ability to remember this amount of material. Moreover, not all students can deal with the stress durng the exam.I suggest schools all over the world to do those exams a bit differently, so they will reflect the student's knowledge and values.

First, students should be tested by a human and not by a robot, in an oral exam. This way, the student can reflect his knowledge even though he doesn’t know how to write a right answer. In addition, the examiner will test not only knowledge, but social skills by talking to the student, and knowing him better. Second, the tests shouldn’t be limited by time like now, so the students wouldn't be so stressed.

As a student in high school, I can say that those improvements will test knowledge better and I could get higher grades. In addition, those improvements, will take us to a newer age, where not only knowledge will
be tested, but social skills and manners as well.

(93)
Daphna

Written Presentation N.2

Nowadays, our community has become more self centered and individual, and less sociable and caring. The term "us" has become less popular and now "me and myself" is more important. We live out everyday life when there are a lot of families that need help, a lot of elders that may need their house to be fixed, and even children that have nothing to do after school.

School, is a great chance to stop this phenomenon at its early stages and maybe make a difference. I think that schools should encourage students to contribute to the community. First, they should offer better grades in some subjects, in exchange for volunteering. These subjects may not be important ones , but less important like "social studies" or "behavior".

Second, schools should not spend all their time teaching the academic subjects, like math or English but to educate their students to be better people. In addition, they should contribute 1 hour a week for current events or teaching social values, so we can all become better people.

I think that these few ideas will make our community better and make us better citizens by teaching us values. In addition, I hope that this will help more students, teenagers and kids get more involved in the community.




(90)

Daphna

University For Everyone

13 Halohamim Street
Holon
25 September 2010

N.Y University
58 Allen Street
New York, NY

Dear Sir/ Madam,


I am writing this letter to apply for the M.A degree. I saw your advertisement in our university forum. It appeared with a lot of qualifications from many students, and I just wanted to try to apply to your social workers course.

I gratuated high school with an average of 98(A). My majors were Psychology and Social studies. In both of them I got 100 (A+). At school time I studied psychology in the University of Tel Aviv.

Moreover, I studied the social field, in Harvard. Due to my recant engagement, I was forced to move. At Harvard I got the B.A with excellence. Afterwards, I helped other students with their social studies.

I heard a lot of recommendations about your university. A lot of my friends studied in your university, and I want to study there too. I think I am capable of studding in your university. I would like you to send me an application form.


Thank you for your assistance.


Your truly,
James Richardson

(80)

Daphna

Formal Letter

13 Halohamim street
Holon
28 September 2010

Ms. Rocky Black
Manager
"See the World"
123 Told street
New York, NY

Dear Ms. Black,

I would like to get some information about the organized trips you offer. I am a 74 year old grandfather of 7 grandchildren, and 5 children. Despite my old age, I like hiking, running and other extreme sports. It's my third trip to New York .

As I mentioned earlier, I am involved in extreme sports, so I want a challenging trip. I would like it to involve running, hiking, etc. In addition, I would like it to involve(ww. - include) natural parks and nature resorvations rather than museums, national buildings etc. Yet, I would like to learn about the American culture.

I would like to get information about the hotels I stay in, the trip schedule and the costs of everything. If it's not too hard, I would like a cheap trip, because I live on my retirement funds.Moreover, I would like to be part of a small group, because in a big one,I can not concentrate and understand a thing

My time is running out, so I hope to get the information I asked for earlier, very soon. Moreover, I would like to recommend your company to my friends, so I would like you to send me your brochure.

Best regards,
James Richardson

Excellent.

(100)

Daphna

Radio Station

Halohamim 13 street

Holon, Israel

January 1st 2010

Station Manager
125 Fm
125 Bialik street
Tel- Aviv Yafo



Dear Sir\ Madam,
I am writing this letter to suggest a new idea for the teenager show. I really think that the new show that you want to produce will amaze a lot of people; it's a great opportunity for teenagers to express themselves.

I think that it needs to be an advice show for teenagers, and the teenagers will lead the show. This show will cooperate with specialists such as doctors and psychologists, but mainly teenagers will give advice. The teenagers that give advice will be special teenagers that had been in difficult situations, such as addiction or abuse.

This show will be astounding. I know that teenagers seek advice but not from specialists, rather, from other teenagers. Due to the wide subject of the show, a lot of teenagers with many kinds of problems can call, and talk such as peer pressure, alcohol, drugs etc.

I want to thank you for giving us the chance to express ourselves, and our needs by those letters. I deeply hope that my idea will be chosen, but I am sure that there are many more great ideas.
I Look forward for your replay,
Truly yours,
Celine Dion

(82)

Daphna

Just Another Trip?

"C'mon guys, lets go" , our guide ordered, when ,my group and I entered the astounding hostel in the Negev, a desert area in the south of Israel. It was the end of the year seminar, organized by my youth movement, "Hatzav", which lasted 5 special days.

It was a seminar in which our 9 guides tested us on our guidance skills. There were hard, interesting and challenging exams all along those 5 days. However, we all passed those tests successfully, together.

In addition, we had an amazing view towards sand, sand mountains and pretty rare animals. On the last day, our guide prepared a special ceremony in which they sang us a karaoke song, gave us our formal shirts, and the amazing diaries.

I personally really liked the way they organized this trip. It was an educational trip but alot fun too. I think that this trip really prepared us toward our guide life afterwards. I deeply hope, that "Hatzav" will continue orgenizing such amazing trips.

Good!

(93)

Daphna

Hotel

Halohamim 13 street

Holon, Israel

January 1st 2010

Ms. Daphna Cohen
Manager
"Mizrahi" Hotel
20 Sason Street
Eilat

Dear Ms. Cohen,
I would like to complain about your awful service at the "Mizrahi" Hotel. When I firstcame in to the Hotel, I thought "This place is astounding". So, immediately I got the impression that the service needed to be amazing, and the hotel needed to be beautiful.

I expected the workers to act kindky towards me, I expected the fridge in my room to be clean, I expected the beds to be made and the toilet to be clean. But, unfortunately it didn't happen.Consequently I left the hotel very disappointed.

I am aware of your reputation and all of my friends had been in your hotel at least once. So, how can it be that I get such awful service? However, except for the hotel, the trip was amazing. We had an interesting guide and the places we visited were fascinating.

In coclusion, I demand a full refund for my stay and the hotel, and a compensation for the anguish. I hope you will get this major problem fixed soon, so people can enjoy your real amazing service.

I look forwardly for your replay.
Your Truly,
Celine Dion.

(78)

Daphna

Something To Say

I
have to say,
that you have
no idia, how
long I have waited
for you to
check my blog,
and how
disappointed I
become after
you check it.

I hope it was worth the waiting... Never despair.

Daphna.

Letter Of Application

Halohamim 13 street
Holon, Israel
January 1st, 2010

Ms. Yael Matalon's office

"Care For A Child" organization

25 Golda Meir Street, Holon

Dear Ms. Matalon,

I am writing this letter due to my biggest wish, to become a volunteer in your amazing organization. I have followed the development and actions of this organization for 3 years now. I have seen how you pick up those helpless children from the streets and find them a place to sleep. Moreover, you gave them hope by teaching them and even playing with them, and all for free.


I was the chairman of all youth movements in my city, it made me learn I learned how to deal with multiple problems at the same time and solve them one by one in the right order. Moreover, I was a counselor of 2nd , 4th and 8th graders in the last few years. In addition, I volunteered in a place called "Hafuh Al Hafuh", a place for teenagers to come and talk and "Mix", a place to hangout for Russian people.

Due to all of my experience, I learned to get along with problematic kids, talk to them, make them open their hearts and talk about their personal life. I think that I am really capable of teaching and playing with those kids, due to my wealthy experience from an earlier stage in my life.

I really want to learn more from you, and get some management skills as well. I know how to manage my time and get along with all kinds of people. I will do my best to make these children happy.I deeply hope you would answer this letter soon.

Yours truly,

Celine Dion

Really great Andrey (or shall I say, Celine...). I'm proud of you!

(95)

Daphna

Virtual Love

People talk on their cellphones, people chat on the internet, people look for information on the internet. So, why can't we study with the internet. The new development is taking place all over the world. Many children all over the globe, learn in virtual classrooms. It is a new trend. These children, do not even have to be in the same country to study this way.

These students, get once in a lifetime chance to meet with other students from all over the globe. They can chat, talk, do homework together and even become best friends. These students learn about other cultures, and other people. Moreover, these students will grow up and become more open minded to other people and opinions because of their interaction with other cultures.

However, these virtual schools can make these students care less for their homework. They can copy the homework much easier than other students. In addition they will ruin their eyes. As we all know, sitting for too long in front of the computer screen can have medical influence on everyday life, like headaches and slowly destroy your eyes.

Despite these disadvantages, the great influence of the virtual classrooms on the students is much better. Moreover, I want to study in a virtual classroom for all of my school program and not only at(ww.) English lessons because it contributes greatly to my personalization process.

Not bad at all.
(83)
Daphna

Letter of Complaining!

Halohamim 13 street
Holon, Israel
December 9, 2009

Mrs. Gilat Simon

The Principal Office

Kugel High School

1 Mota Gur Street, Holon


Dear Ms. Simon,

For many years now, students from all parts of our country have been given the opportunity to explore the depths of Poland. However, this trip is not only for fun. This trip, shows the students the history and culture of the Jewish people. I write to you this letter to criticize the overwhelming price of this trip, about 6000 NIS for an 8 day long trip.

Many people think that this price is just too much, I agree with them. First, not all of the students can afford the trip, so it creats a social economic gap between students.Students that can afford the trip go and those students make their own group, that stays together after this trip.

Second, this trip is an important part of the Jewish people, nothing should prevent students from going, not even the price. So, I think that you should do something with that price. In addition, I truly believe that whoever cannot pay the price, will be less connected to the Jewish comunity.

In conclusion, I wanted to add that the price is truly too high, and almost all of the students cannot pay it. So, I think that you should do something about it. If you do not know what to do you can turn to many organizations that help with the price. Or, you can just arrange big events and all the money will be contributed to pay the price for less capeble students.I really hope you would answer this letter quickly

Yours Truly,

Celine Dion

(87)

Daphna
 

Geroge's life- Summer Reading

George Stoyonovich is the main character in the story, "A Summers Reading". George is a 20 year old young man, who dropped out of school at the age of 16. His family probably came from Poland and now lives in an immigrant area, Bronx. He likes to read the "Almanac" and not fiction stories.

He grew without a real family. His father is busy with himself and doesn’t talk much with George. His sister works at a downtown café all day and doesn’t have much time to spend with George. George lives in a poor neighborhood and spends his day at home

The only man who has ever talked to George and has been nice to him was Mr.C. Mr.C felt empathy for George, because he saw himself as a young boy within George. They both gave up the opportunity for a better life. George did not have the determination to read the books, although he needed it because his education level was low and Mr.C probably gave up his life for his love, his sick wife.

I think that George did not get enough help and attention. His father did not talk to him much, and his sister was always at work. I believe that a child's personality is designed at home by his parents. As we see, George did not have it, and struggled for (a) better life.

This is much better. Well done.

(95)

Daphna

"The Thorn Birds"

The Thorn Birds" by Colleen McCullough is just another love story book that discusses everyday life problems, such as religion, love or even forbidden love. So, how are these problems connected together? Can you understand it? Me neither.

In this story, Maggie, a little harmless girl, falls in love with Ralph De Briacassart. Ralph, the priest, is older than Maggie by 18 years. In Maggie's life, he is the first one who gives Maggie the attention she deserves. She is the youngest child in a family with many boys. As the years go by, her love grows until she falls in love with him.

Maggie secretly desires Ralph, but as a priest he just can not agree to a relationship with Maggie. However, she finds a way to seduce him. Moreover, she finds out that she is pregnant with his child. This is the turning point; from that point the story is just not the same.

I want to say that the story is just another typical love story between two people. Everyone(ww. - anyone) who wants to read another love story, with a little twist, can enjoy this book. Personally, I did not like it, but it is a matter of taste.

Much better. Well done.

(95)

Daphna

"Fast Fat"

Nowadays, many people suffer from obesity. It's a well known phenomenon in the whole world, but especially in America. This time I will discuss this phenomenon from another point of view. Who’s responsible for obesity, the ordinary people or the factories that produce this kind of food?

Everywhere you go, you can see fast food restaurants, it attracts your eyes, calls you to come and consume some calories. It's true that they write the amount of calories, but with those fancy names and delicious food, you just can’t say no. From this point of view, it’s the factories' fault, but can you really blame them?

Imagine a situation: you step into a shop, you take out money from your wallet, and you pay for something 20 dollars, for example. Afterwards, the choice whether to use it or not is in your hands.Each one needs to decide whose fault his weight.It is the companies' fault that we buy the food, but it’s our fault when we eat it.

In conclusion, I want to say that we are responsible for what we eat; it’s our choice. we just decide to ignore our responsibility or gently blame others. So next time you go and buy a snack, please consider the consequences, it’s all your fault.

(90)

Daphna

Letter to the Editor

132 Fleetwood Street

Ashville

September 17, 2009

The Editor
Ynet
Ashville

Dear Editor,
I assume you all read the article "Tel Aviv- 2 killed in an attack on the Homolesbian bar" about what happened in the teen bar for gays and lesbians. However, if you don’t know, I shall remind you. On the 1st of August, men broke into the teen bar and shot everywhere; there were 2 murdered and 4 injured teens, one of the murdered teens was Liz, from Holon, that just wanted to support gay rights.

We can blame a lot of people for this. We can blame the orthodox Jews that hate gays and maybe they did it. However, we can blame the society for not accepting gays, but gays don’t accept themselves. Researches showed that most of the homophobic guys are gays themselves.

The gay community arranges a pride parade each year, in which half naked people walk and kiss each other. Maybe this is a part of the reason for all the hate, but maybe not.Or maybe, this hate is about gays not getting out of the closet and showing support to other gay guys. Or(look for another word, apart from "or") even worse, hating them and trying to hunt them down like homophobian people do.

So, the purpose of this is to show you a new way of looking at this situation. It's a horrible thing or maybe, it just opened our eyes a bit to show us who we really are?

Yours truly,
Andrew Borsuck

Good work

(95)

Daphna

The Sexiest Woman

As you all may know, earlier today (1.9) there was a big concert of Madonna in Tel Aviv. A lot of Israeli people came to see her. The amazing part was that her fans were from the youngest to the oldest. Madonna is "quite old" and she still has young fans, like me.

I have to say that she is an amazing singer. She can still look sexy at 51 years old. I think that she can be a role model to women her age. You should never be ashamed of your age. I think that age is a kind of a gift; you get a lot of life experience- the most important thing.

Last time she was here in 1993, we missed her. She did a lot of tours, but her famous one is “Hard Candy and the Sticky & Sweet Tour” in 2007. The name was just perfect for Madonna's personality: it was appealing, sexy and has a bit of humor in it.

At the end of my article, I want to say that Madonna is the sexiest woman I “know” and hopefully, in the future, she will stay that way. So, come to her next tour?

http://www.ynet.co.il/articles/0,7340,L-3770769,00.html

Excellent.

(100)

Daphna